A Sign of the Times: ICE Detains and Questions Santa in New York City

This is a depiction of the incident, which was drawn and submitted by Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. “I left my phone at Santa’s crib, so I couldn’t get an actual photo. Recognizing the gravity of the situation, I borrowed a piece of paper and marker from an Uber driver and did my best to capture what was happening,” Rudolph stated. “I’m no Bob Ross, but it works.” 

By Candy Cane

Ms. Claus, her husband, and their lawyer are urging parents and children not to worry. “We’re sure the matter will be resolved very soon, and there will be no delays with toy deliveries on Christmas Eve,” said Ms. Claus. 

Ben Freeze, the beloved couple’s attorney, was equally confident St. Nick would be released. However, he told From The G-Man that he was deeply concerned about the incident because ICE agents failed to explain why his client was detained and questioned after making a special appearance on ABC’s The View. “Big Red is a massive fan of Whoopi Goldberg, who has publicly spoken out against the policies and practices of the current administration and ‘the occupant in the Oval Office.’ Is this the reason why he was approached and treated in such a bizarre and cruel manner? That’s what Lady Red and I intend to find out,” Freeze stated.

Rudolph, the legendary reindeer and Santa’s closest friend, did not mince words when commenting on the incident. “I went across the street to get a pack of smokes, and I returned to see ICE totally violating my boy! I was like….”Yo!! What the f**k?! This is some bullsh*t!! If Hermey the Elf hadn’t held me back, I don’t know what I would’ve done,” he said. 

Image source: Public Domain