Pictures & Punchlines: The ‘Broke-Ass Rudy’ Edition

Official White House Photo by Cameron Smith

“No, no, Mr. President!! It’s right here in the middle. Giuliani has to pay $148 million, not $1.48, to the two former Georgia election workers. The intelligence report also notes Rudy Poo’s gonna have to stop using hair dye because he won’t be able to afford it. So sad that it’s come to this.”

Official White House Photo by Adam Schultz

“Hi. This is President Joe Biden. I’m calling to make a donation to help Rudy Giuliani raise $148 million to pay Wandrea Moss and Ruby Freeman. I was just informed that the jury handed down the verdict. Yes! Yes! I’m sorry, but did you ask how much I’m donating? I’m donating $1.48, and I’ll have my chief-of-staff send the check out to you on December 18. Tell Rudy Poo I said…Merry Christmas!”

Official White House Photo by Adam Schultz

“Dear God. I just wanted to take a minute and let you know that I’m so, so grateful for the comfort you’ve provided during these extremely challenging and difficult times. My boy is under investigation, but it could be much worse. At least he’s not in a position where he’ll have to dole out $148 million like Giuliani. Geez! I hope Rudy Poo knows Burger King and McDonald’s are hiring.”